So I had a thing with my husband last night.
I still can't believe it, totally shell-shocked.
I'm 35, an accountant in Udon Thani, been married 2 years. I don't have a boss breathing down my neck except month-end budgets lol.
Around 2:30am last night I was sorting documents to file taxes, jotting in a small notebook with a dry pen, and I happened to open his separate bank account statement—one he keeps just for himself. I found a ton of transfers in and out over the last 6 months. He’s been spending a lot on personal stuff and I had no idea. Some credit card debts are in his name. We never had a serious agreement about this. I assumed we handled things together and everything was transparent, but apparently not.
I was so confused I called him for about 20 minutes because I wanted to clear it up. He said it’s personal and didn’t want me to stress, but I’m the accountant in the family and I feel sidelined when it comes to finances, like a piece of the puzzle got cut out. I wanted to talk with evidence, wanted explanations, but when I asked seriously he got all withdrawn, cried, and then went silent. Like... I don’t get it.
I’m not trying to spy on him or pick fights all the time, but having a secret account and lots of transfers between our household account and his without explanations makes me feel like we’re not really partners, you know? Or am I being overly sensitive? What should I do? Ask him to make a combined monthly budget? Or is being open every quarter enough? Has anyone dealt with this? Please share— I really want other perspectives.
New to posting threads, typing on my phone, sorry if I missed something T_T