Ugh... I'm so confused. Stressed out.

Quick background: I'm an accountant, 42, head of accounting at a medium company near Hua Hin. Been doing this job almost ten years — payments, receipts, tax, budgets, monthly reports, all that. I'm the nitty-gritty person, always have a little notebook and a gel pen by the keyboard. But this whole thing felt like someone just kicked me out from under me.

It was a Friday around 3:30 pm. The marketing head — who’s tight with the managing director — came over and said we had to urgently pay a supplier because a big project starts tomorrow. He asked me to sign the payment now and said the original documents would come later, marketing would follow up, it would just take a few minutes. He was in a full-on rush, like finish it in 10 minutes or the whole job’s delayed. He was mega stressed and getting on my nerves. I felt pressured, but my principle is I won’t pay without supporting docs. So I tried to find the PO and quotations in the system. Spent almost an hour but couldn’t find everything. When I checked who approved in the system, it was the GM — the same one who told us to pay.

I suggested a temporary approval note, saying the documents must be provided within 3 days, and that marketing sign a letter taking responsibility. The GM called and said no, pay now, and asked if I could sign on his behalf. He said softly, “we’ll fix it later if anything comes up,” and warned that if I didn’t do it the project would suffer and people would blame me for blocking things. I felt pressured — was I being too sensitive? In the end I gave in, reluctantly (stupid me). I signed but added a note: “temporary / pending document verification.” Marketing promised to send the paperwork within three days.

It’s been almost two weeks and zero documents. No replies in chat even though they’ve read it. Sometimes I see their stories — beach photos, hat selfies and all that hahaha T_T. I collected emails, chats, and system logs, but some things were just verbal — no paper or clear files because everyone was rushing and someone kept ordering it done fast.

Then internal audit contacted me because the bank system flagged a payment with no attached docs. When they checked, everything got thrown at me: “Why did you approve this payment?” even though the GM ordered it and marketing asked for it. I tried to explain, showed emails and chats, but at the final meeting the GM said he never told anyone to pay without documents and then said if there’s a paperwork error it could be the accounting department’s fault for signing. I was shocked. Totally speechless. It felt like he refused to share responsibility and was sliding the blame onto me.

Now people at work are colder. I sense they’re uncomfortable around me or afraid I’ll say something that makes things worse. I don’t want trouble but I also don’t want this to slide without shared responsibility. How should I gather more evidence? If I want to take it to HR or legal, what should I prepare? And if I really have to leave this job, how do I start looking for work at my age? Should I fight to clear my name or step away quietly? I’m so stressed.

Anyone been through something like this? Please give me advice. I’ll update later. P.S. Today I ate street food at the corner — ordered super spicy basil stir-fry, actually helped calm me down a bit.