So something weird happened last night. I'm like... totally confused. Hands shaking. Sorry I'm typing on my phone so maybe I’ll miss stuff.

I’m 26, I work as a nurse at a hospital around Bang Kapi, mostly night shifts. I’m clumsy but I like helping people. Life’s kinda fast-paced. I’ve been with my girlfriend almost three years, living together about a year and a half. We used to be fine, some small fights but we could talk. I said I’d put up with her being protective since I work nights a lot, but lately things have slowly changed.

It started the night I got off the late shift and came home around 1:20 AM. Usually she wakes up to let me in, grabs the keys, pinches me a little before bed. But that night it was silent. Lights off. She wasn’t home, no note, calls didn’t go through. I didn’t think much because I had a morning shift, so I crashed. Woke up in the morning and saw her phone on the table with a LINE notification from someone with a short nickname and a profile pic of a night view — very focused image. I didn’t open it right away because I was rushing to work.

Came back from the evening shift around 6 PM, she was home and looked way nicer than usual — a neatly ironed shirt, pants I think were new, like she’d been getting ready to go out again. Earlier she told me she was just going to buy dinner at the stall by the soi and come back. I didn’t press or follow, thought I’d be chill, but when she went downstairs another message popped up from that same person. My heart beat weird, but I told myself not to overthink and opened it later that night.

The messages were short, joking tone, had laughing emojis, and some personal compliments she doesn’t usually get from anyone. That’s when things felt blurry — like I’d been tricked. But the fact is I have zero proof. Hands shaking. It went quiet.

I started watching her behavior after that — she began turning her phone off more often or just leaving it on standby. When I come home she has little excuses like talking to coworkers or buying ginger drink for her mom. When I check the places she said she was, she says she just got home. If I ask directly she answers short and immediately switches topics. It’s driving me crazy.

One time I accidentally saw her put the necklace I gave her into a small narrow white box and hide it in a drawer separate from my stuff. That felt weird because she used to keep things together. It felt like hiding or protecting something.

I started snooping chats unintentionally, looking through conversation history. Some messages were deleted, which I’ve never seen her do before. Feels like secrets — this isn’t small anymore.

I’m not someone who likes making problems, but everyone has a limit. I’m so stressed I barely eat, can’t sleep. Sometimes I dream strangers are in our room. At work I made small mistakes because my head’s stuck on this. For about two weeks now my mind hasn’t been calm.

I’ve tried talking calmly a few times but she dodges with stuff like “don’t overthink,” “I’m tired,” or “sorry if I bothered you.” It sounds like she doesn’t care about how I feel. Super confusing.

Sometimes I worry I’m just way too jealous. I know everybody needs personal space, but if the hiding keeps increasing it’s hard not to worry. Or maybe I’m just scared of ruining things by being petty. Would it be better to trust more? Is she actually my girlfriend? Should I trust her for real?

Some coworkers tell me to ask directly, but I’m scared if I do and she denies it the relationship will break because I have no proof. It’s a lot of pressure. I don’t want to be the trust-breaker. If she did nothing I’ll be so embarrassed, but if she did I don’t know if I could stand it.

I’m thinking of finding time to have a serious talk, but I’m scared it’ll turn into a fight and words will go too far. I feel like a suspicious, clingy guy, but at the same time small reasons shouldn’t be ignored. What should I do? Friends, what do you think — am I just overthinking? Super confused T_T hahaha

P.S. If anyone has ideas on how to talk without destroying the relationship but getting a clear answer, please tell me. OP will try to talk calmly first.