Sorry, first time posting so I’ll probably write messy. I’m 38, doing a PhD at a university near Nonthaburi. I’ve been with my partner for 4 years and we’re getting married in a little over a month, but lately there are little things that make me worry so much I wanna laugh-cry, like what even hahaha

Short version: he likes buying weird little luxury stuff. Tiny things — like a stainless-steel hand-sized basket he bought at a night market at 1:30am, or a weird-shaped ceramic coffee cup that no one knows when they’d actually use. He also likes transferring 50–200 baht to old friends sometimes, maybe twice a month, or paying for app subscriptions I’ve never seen. He borrowed 1,500 baht from me last month and paid me back almost two months later; it’s not a lot, but this kind of thing happens often enough that I keep thinking whether I can accept being married to someone who spends like this forever.

Some nights at 10:25pm I sit and think, am I overthinking? Maybe this is small potatoes for other people, but I feel like the future will have fights because of money. Money isn’t just numbers — it’s responsibility; I’m scared that if one day we have an emergency or big goals like a mortgage, these habits could really mess things up.

On the other hand he’s super warm and helps with housework, drags me to the street-food market all the time, sometimes puts down a small mat at 6pm and cooks for me. A person like that really makes me smile, and he’s the kind of attentive person you don’t find easily. But his money behavior confuses me so much.

Should I talk directly about it before the wedding, or make it a financial agreement first, like separate accounts or a household budget, without making things too tense?

I’m afraid he’ll feel judged if I bring it up T_T

He’s a good person but… I’m really worried.