I’ve been working at a hotel in downtown Korat for ten years. I’m 34 and I work the front desk — check-ins and check-outs. Sometimes I do late-night shifts, sometimes early mornings, like 2:30–5:00 AM, or the late afternoon ones around 15:30–20:30. Lately a lot of stuff’s been bothering me and I don’t know what to do.

I’m so tired. Really, really exhausted.

It started with a coworker — a woman around 40 who used to help with everything. On days when I was swamped she’d help clear things, even lift guests’ luggage for me (she’d carry the big suitcase and put the little shoe box down for me). But recently she’s been asking for time off more often, saying she has dentist appointments, has to go home to do housework, or once said she had to take a watch to be repaired for her kid — about 45 minutes or longer. I get that as you get older you have more personal stuff, but when she’s around the manager lets her do whatever she wants. For example, if a guest asks to check out urgently, the manager will have that coworker handle it. I’d be okay with that if it were fair.

But it’s not fair. Last week a long-staying guest complained that something was stolen from the room. I was the one taking the report because I’d just started my shift. I was writing a small note for housekeeping to check, told them to look in about 20 minutes, and then the manager came to oversee. The way they came over was like… they looked at me and asked questions like I’d done something wrong even though I’d already given all the info. Then the manager said, “If this happens again, you won’t be allowed to work solo,” in a hard voice so everyone heard it — like a public announcement — even though nothing had been proven.

Another issue is the last-minute shift changes. Sometimes my shift gets swapped without warning. I have to pick up and drop off my niece in the evening; if I’m scheduled to leave at 17:00 I need to get out on time, otherwise I pay extra for late transport. Some team members secretly say I’m picky. I’m just trying to manage my life — my mom waits to pick up the kid and I have to drop her off for extra classes. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too sensitive or if I should just say it straight.

I do love this job. I like guests’ smiles, I like it when they compliment the hotel, but being scolded like that destroys my confidence. I try not to dwell on it, but I can’t sleep well after work, wondering if I’m doing a bad job or if I should just obey every order to keep the peace. If I keep putting up with this, how long can I last? Will I end up one day crying my eyes out in the kitchen because I’ve bottled everything up?

Some coworkers told me to talk to the manager, but I’m afraid I’ll become even more of a target. Others told me to look for a new job because I’m getting older. I ask myself at night whether I should stay for the income or go find something that makes me feel better. I feel guilty thinking about quitting since the family depends on my paycheck, but some days I’m so worn out I could cry. T_T

Friends on the board — has anyone talked to a boss and had it help? Or does anyone have tips to make my heart tougher so words don’t hurt so much? What should I do? Should I start looking for a new job already? I’m so confused 5555

P.S. If anyone has a short encouraging line, I really want one.