Last night around 9pm I accidentally saw his chat on his phone. Sorry, I know I shouldn’t have opened it but my hand just did. Silence.

Messages from someone with a nickname I don’t know — way more than a normal friend. Super close, like for real. From his stories they tag each other a lot, they get invited to grab coffee one-on-one all the time, and there are pics they send that are way too familiar, like the kind that would feel weird if you’d dated them before. I scrolled back and found messages going back to the end of last month — like 2-3 weeks. That part has been stuck in my head ever since.

So I straight-up asked who the hell they were. He just said they’re a coworker and laughed, then told me not to be jealous. I went quiet but inside I was anything but. Super uncomfortable. Honestly there’s this voice in my head saying he might choose to talk to someone else more than me, like I’ve become the backup option, you know?

I’m 32, sell a few things online in Udon, been together almost a year, and we’d planned to move in together. But everything changed overnight — my trust shook. I started noticing little things: he turns the screen away when someone messages him, frequently. Like there’s a dark corner of his phone I never saw before. He doesn’t post couple pics like he used to. When I ask he gets mad and tells me I’m being harsh, caring too much. Or maybe I’m overthinking.

I don’t want to hurt anyone. I want to talk and clear things up. But every time I try to start that convo, he gets defensive, which makes me feel guilty, like I’m the impatient one. But if my gut says something’s off, can I really just let it go? He told me he wants me to understand, but when I said I saw messages inviting him for coffee, he turned it on me as if I’m aggressive. He shut his phone so fast — I even took leave to check and saw a missed call from that person at 1:30pm, then he rushed to hide the screen like he was scared I’d see. My heart’s been racing since.

So what do you all think? Should I bring this up and clear it out now, or wait for him to open up on his own? OP confused T_T

P.S. Sneaking this thread during my boss’s watch, gotta go back to packing and business stuff. There’s a blue pen on the table lolol