Hi everyone, first time posting here — borrowing a friend's login to post. Sorry if this reads messy, my hands are literally shaking as I type at 1:30am T_T

I run a small online shop in Udon Thani, I'm 28. I sell household stuff and do some printing, I handle customers, pack, and ship myself. It's a fair bit of work but manageable. Sometimes a senior friend from uni comes to help pack in the evenings, like 8pm to 4:30am — no, wait, I mean roughly 8pm to 10:30pm — he works a day job so he helps a couple hours in the evening, two or three days a week. I felt bad for him so I appreciated the help. But the more he helped, the more the whole 'help' thing started to change.

At first he was kind, giving packing tips — tape this way, use just a little tissue paper, help divvy up tasks. I was so relieved because I really couldn't keep up alone. Lately though he's been giving orders, like we need to change stock this way, post between 7–8pm, set prices like that, and if I don't follow he complains I'm not professional or brings up customer issues like I ruined the shop's reputation. Sometimes he speaks pretty harshly. He never said he wanted to be the boss, but his behavior is basically that.

I'm so confused. I shut up. I don't know what to do.

I hate confrontation, and I tell myself he's doing me a favor so I shouldn't be stingy, but now he's started bringing money into it. He says if packing is wrong he'll deduct from his earnings — even though we've never actually talked pay. When big orders come he tells me to handle customer contact, but if something is damaged or late he blames only me. It's like one person in two roles — the one taking orders publicly, and the one ordering around in friend form.

Maybe I'm imagining it, or maybe I'm too soft. We had one real talk about it two weeks ago, a long thirty-minute convo on my balcony around 9pm. He said he's helping as a friend, but his tone and actions stayed the same afterward — still ordering, still getting annoyed if things aren't exactly how he wants. I feel weird — I want his input but I don't want to be bossed around, and I'm scared that if I say something we'll wreck the friendship. We've been friends about six years, had a lot of good times, but mixing in business has made everything so tense.

There was a period I asked him to cut his hours because he looked tired; he seemed okay with it, but after that he started looking at me differently and making snarky jokes about my management skills in the group chat, like mocking the little notebook on my table like he's teaching me how to use it, with that snide voice. Those comments hurt, but I don't want to make a big deal out of my friend.

Am I overthinking? Should I be clear about boundaries and pay, or just stop letting him help and hire someone else? What would you do?

PS sorry again if this is wordy or messy, I'm not used to posting like this hahaha