I teach at a secondary school in Hat Yai–some bay area in Phuket. I'm 36, single, been teaching about 9 years. Not super long but I'm not fresh outta uni either.

The night before last, around 9pm after finishing evening tuition, I went back to school because I had forms and documents to sign for the student affairs head—usually they see me a lot so it's no big deal. But when I walked into the office the head was having a loud argument with the new foreign teacher, louder than normal. It was about the schedule for an excursion, and honestly I should've stepped in to help plan with student affairs, but what shocked me was the head cutting them off saying, “This isn't Thai teachers' business,” then getting up and leaving the room. Face completely blank, no apology, no explanation.

Dead silence.

The foreign teacher gave a forced smile and asked if we could help. I said I was willing like always, but the feeling was weird—can't really put it into words. We've never been marginalized like that at our own workplace before. Even though I'm the only male teacher in the department, the attitude made it seem like I'm not involved with the students at all. But an excursion affects the whole school, not some tiny side task.

A colleague I lunch with said the head's been doing this for months: passing work to other teams without clear reasons, then when problems show up they throw it back at others—usually new or younger teachers. We're all uncomfortable but nobody dares speak up, scared of being seen as aggressive toward the boss or worried about pay raises. I get that, but the way things are run is chaotic and it's making the team tense way more than it should.

Another thing is lazy communication. The head almost never sends important emails—will just walk in during class, wave and tell us to do it, or message the group chat at midnight with “please help” and no details. The people who actually have to do it end up clearing everything themselves, even when some things require talking to parents or government offices and need complete paperwork. It's not just tiring, it's wildly unfair how tasks are assigned.

Two weeks ago I proposed a plan for extra tutoring for students who need it. The head supported it—sort of—by telling me to organize everything and recruit volunteer teachers with no budget. Like do it for free and it's our responsibility, and if we don’t do it we’ll be seen as not cooperating. I drew a long breath and stayed quiet because I was afraid negotiating would make me look not a team player. But honestly I don't want to be taken advantage of.

Some nights I sit staring at my empty coffee cup on the little table in the staff room, the neon light so bright it hurts my eyes, wondering if I should quit. Find another job where I feel better, maybe earn less but have better mental health. Or stay because I care for the kids I look after—if I leave who'll look after them? So many contradictions. Want to run away but abandoning responsibility feels awful. Or maybe I’m overthinking.

Another small but piling thing: the head likes calling teachers in to help out at night with no clear reason, then forgets to say thanks in the morning. Like it's 24/7 service and shouldn't be every teacher's duty, but many people accept it to avoid bad relations. Sometimes I feel like I'm becoming the kind of person who always gives in just to keep the team's image, which won't last.

I don't know what to do. Should I confront the head directly, openly? Or start collecting evidence of task assignments—say 2–3 emails/incidents per month—to bring up with administration? I don't want to make a big deal, but if I let it go the students might suffer more. What should I do?

Thanks for reading this far. OP is really confused haha T_T

P.S. Sorry if I rambled or wrote messily. Want straight opinions from you folks—what do you think?