Last night we fought again. Around 8pm we were talking straight about the wedding plans — her side wants a big deal, like her mom's dream. But he told me from the start he wanted a small, chill thing and that he’d pay for it himself. I believed him, so I didn’t tell my parents many details.

But once we started booking stuff, costs kept popping up. He kept saying he’s got a crazy shift schedule right now and doesn’t have the money, he’ll claim it from work and pay me back, kept apologizing a lot, but in the end I had to transfer deposits to the caterer, the venue, the sound system rental because he was slow and told me to go ahead and he’d pay me back. I transferred because I didn’t want the plan to fall apart.

Confused. Tired.

I’m 28, a nurse at a hospital in Nakhon Ratchasima. I work a lot of night shifts. Some weeks we swap shifts so I don’t get home until about 3am. I get home, and I still have to set up a notebook with guest lists, check menu specs, call vendors, compare venue prices, read reviews about linens or chair covers — takes almost two hours after every shift. Sometimes I just stare at the little blue alarm I set five minutes ahead in case I accidentally fall asleep again. Ugh, it feels like I’m doing two jobs at once, seriously.

When I talk, he listens, but when it comes to real money he freezes and keeps postponing. He’s been doing this for about three weeks now, like he doesn’t want to take real responsibility or is afraid I’ll be upset. He says we’ll split payments, he’ll pay me back, but when I ask for a deadline he goes quiet. It’s heavy on my heart. Like… he doesn’t know how to explain.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m overthinking, or if this is normal for couples planning a wedding. But it feels like the responsibility isn’t balanced, or am I being petty? I want someone who actually helps carry the load, not just say they will.

Anyone here been through this? How should I talk to him clearly without it turning into a huge fight, or should I delay the wedding and ask him to sort out the money first? I’m so confused, really. Need advice, haha.

P.S. If someone says they’ll split payments but doesn’t follow through, should I trust them again? Look at the relationship side too, not just the money. It’s exhausting T_T