Just got back from delivering food at 2:30am, dead tired but had to tell this. Feeling half-smile half-annoyed haha.

I’m 34, do motorbike delivery around Pattaya-Chonburi. Been with my boyfriend almost three years and we agreed to get married next year, but lately little things have piled up and I’m actually hesitating.

He spends money super impulsively. If he sees something he wants he just buys it. Like when he gets small parts to modify his bike, from tiny headlight panels to bits that just sit on a shelf. I get it, it’s a hobby, but our household accounts aren’t sorted yet. We don’t even have a proper budget between us.

Last month I’d been saving a deposit for renting a small place — about two months’ worth, enough as a starter for life after marriage. He took that money to pay for bike parts that he said would help him make extra money. Sure, if it actually brings more jobs that’s fine, but it wasn’t urgent enough to blow the whole amount. When I went quiet about it he accused me of being harsh and worrying too much. I just shut down after that.

Once he bought a new phone even though his old one still takes photos fine, just the battery was weaker. Fine, I get it, but he said he bought it to shoot short clips to sell things online and that he’d start side work that night — like, literally that night. It’s been almost a month and he’s posted twice. He also went out to eat with friends at 3pm without telling me. Little things add up and it’s getting heavy.

I’m not the type who nags all the time, but money and the future make me feel insecure. I even helped pay his bike installments before because he had unexpected deductions. I work late shifts, ride through rain, hold the keys and deliver from 1am till morning. I’m tired but I want a life together.

Sometimes I feel like I carry more responsibility even though I give him a lot of freedom. I don’t want to control him, but I don’t want to be left to handle everything alone. I can’t manage all the money by myself either. I’m confused, right?

Friends suggested making a joint account and listing expenses clearly, but I’m scared if I bring it up he’ll think I don’t trust him or get angry. I also wonder if I’m overthinking — maybe he just likes spending? Should I give him some freedom? Or should we see a counselor before we marry?

Asking friends here: should I talk to him straight-up and seriously about this, or start with a small shared budget first? My head is a mess T_T

PS If I ask him to postpone a big project he’s planning because we don’t have the funds yet, would that be me taking away his freedom or me protecting our future?