Help me out here. It started as a cute little thing but now it’s turning into something I can’t hold back my irritation about.

First, a bit of background: I’m 22, I work in accounting in Nonthaburi, married for two years. My husband’s about the same age, he’s a small freelance designer with random clients so his income’s unstable. Every month I cover the rent, water, electricity, and almost all the household expenses because my salary goes into a regular account and it’s just convenient for me to pay. He didn’t ask me to, but… this has gone past what I can tolerate, right?

The problem is he likes keeping stuff in a little “lucky box” he bought from a market stall and puts it on top of the wardrobe. It’s a tiny box for random things—small tape, a Phillips screwdriver, a single little flashlight, and a phone power bank. He always takes things out without telling me, but sometimes when I try to use something he snatches it back and says, “That’s mine. I keep that for myself.” He’s got this blank face but I feel… super weird about it.

One evening around 7:30 I bought dinner from the corner and came home and saw the power bank charging in the kitchen drawer so I grabbed it (I thought it was kept there for anyone in the house). He came over and said, “That’s mine, give it back.” I was confused because he’s used it before and he’d said he kept things for when clients come over or when he goes out to work, but he never tells us in advance. Why keep everything to himself? Why keep it just for himself? Is that normal?

The cash thing is strange too. He likes to withdraw big sums in cash, put them in envelopes, and hide them in a shoebox under the wardrobe. He says it’s for emergencies, but never tells me how much or gives a clear reason. When I ask he answers like “Just leave it” or “You don’t need to know.” I’m not asking to know every single baht, but if you’re going to have separate money or make an agreement like this, shouldn’t it be clear what each pile is for? That seems better than keeping everything secret, right?

I tried to say politely that I want shared items kept where anyone in the house can reach them. He listened but looked a little annoyed and said, “I want some personal space.” I get wanting a private corner, but claiming household items as personal makes me feel like we’re not really together. It feels like there’s a thin line between us, and that makes me feel like I’m the one managing everything, even though I’m carrying most of the financial burden.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m overthinking. Am I controlling? Should I just let him have a private corner without nagging? But when I see him act like that it mixes with this feeling that he doesn’t trust me or doesn’t see me as a true partner.

There was a time when a friend came over and borrowed little things and then put them back in the wrong place or didn’t put them back at all. When I pointed it out he told me not to make a big deal about small stuff. I try not to blow things up, but when stuff piles up it becomes a big deal by itself. hahahaha T_T

I suggested a simple financial arrangement—separate personal wallets but a joint account for household expenses—but he doesn’t seem keen to talk seriously. He says, “We’ll talk later,” and then nothing. It’s been about two weeks and still silence.

So I want to ask you folks: has anyone else dealt with this? How do I talk to him so he doesn’t feel attacked but I can get some clarity? How much personal space should I allow, and how should we set boundaries? Or am I just being overly sensitive (or the controlling one)? Please share. I’m so confused.

P.S. I joke but seriously want a middle drawer labeled “Shared” and “Personal” with a little blue paper clip flag on it so no one gets confused hahahaha