Just gotta vent a bit, borrowing a friend’s login to post. I honestly don’t know who else to unload this on.

Yesterday was my day off. Left the house around 3:15pm to wander around Samut Prakan — wanted a change from the office in Bang Pakong, I’m allergic to all the office vibes. Stopped at a little food stall at the mouth of the soi for stir-fried basil, then went to a small coffee shop near the pier. I had a dotted mug and a book, was reading casually for like five minutes... and then what happened shocked me so much I couldn’t keep reading.

Short version: I ran into my ex’s ex — like, my ex, unexpectedly. We’d stopped talking for almost three years. We didn’t have some huge fight, I just chose to step back, own my faults, and we went our separate ways. He came in with another woman, sat in a dark corner, all touchy-feely, laughing loud. Then he spotted me. I pretended not to see, but my heart hurt so much. It was this weird, confusing pain.

Shocked. Hurt.

I’m 35, office job near Bang Pakong, life’s okay. Not a player, and usually I don’t overthink relationships. But seeing that hit me hard — like I couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t just the moment, it was the reminder that maybe I haven’t really forgotten, or maybe I’m caring too much. He walked by like he didn’t notice — maybe he truly didn’t — but that image unleashed all the memories, good and bad, without warning. The mornings we walked together, getting soaked and sharing one umbrella, the stupid fights — it all came at once and my stomach felt squeezed. My heart raced, and for maybe ten seconds I felt like crying but couldn’t.

There were moments I was confused with myself. I wanted to go say hi, or I wanted to just walk away. In the end I just stayed put, found the lame excuse that my coffee wasn’t finished, and stayed silent, too scared to make eye contact. Cowardly? Or just being careful with myself? Part of me thinks he’s moved on and I should be happy, but it hurt so much. I kept replaying in my head what would happen if I texted him — if he’d remember, or remember but not want to talk.

I also got this tiny weird curiosity: does he come to this area often? Why didn’t he tell the person he was with that this used to be our place? Or am I overthinking everything again? It’s such a small thing but it hit me hard. I know I bottle up feelings, but I don’t want to tell my office friends because I’m afraid they’ll laugh and call me soft.

Now I’m home, can’t sleep, and typing this still confused about what to do. Should I message him to get clarity, or just let it be the past? This feeling makes me feel stupid, but it’s real. I want answers but I’m scared the answers will make things worse.

What do you all think I should do? How do I shake this off, or should I confront him and ask straight up? I’m so confused lol. P.S. Sorry if this is a tiny post, I’m typing from actual confusion.