Last night around 7-ish I went to drop off some work at a small coffee shop near Rawai Beach, and I happened to run into my girlfriend sitting and talking with another person. I was totally caught off guard.

They were at the table by the edge facing the sea. I could see a bubble tea cup and a paper straw on the table, and a little cat keychain hanging from a small bag. I walked in to order a drink before leaving, and my girlfriend saw me and put on this blank face, said “I’ve gotta go, I’ll be back later” all in a hurry and started walking toward me. The person she was with didn’t get up — just looked over and gave this tiny nod… but didn’t meet my eyes. My heart was pounding so loud. I got this weird feeling like something was stuck in my chest.

I’m a freelancer, I deliver stuff sometimes and do photography sometimes, based in Phuket, so I know that area but I’d never seen that person before. I tried to play it casual and asked, “Have you two been sitting together long?” She answered short, “Not long,” and then fumbled with her jacket pocket like she didn’t want to talk. I felt confused because usually she doesn’t hide things — we’ve been close for three years — and this made me think too much.

I said straight up, “Who’s he? If you know him, can you introduce me?” The guy smiled awkwardly and said he was an old friend of hers who’d come back to Phuket, just meeting up. To be honest he didn’t act flirty or anything dramatic, but the answer was so clipped it felt like there was a wall in front of me. Maybe I’m overthinking, but before she used to talk about old friends a lot, and this time the explanation wasn’t whole, so I started to worry.

Back home I checked her phone without thinking (I feel guilty about it) and saw some chats had been deleted between her and that person, but I could still see screenshots left of a couple of transaction slips with dates from their previous meetups. There were tiny date-and-time stamps in the screenshots. So now I’m not sure if he’s really just a friend or something more, and I keep asking myself whether I should confront her directly or just watch and wait. It sounds bad but it’s eating me up.

I don’t want to be irrationally paranoid, but I don’t want to ignore my feelings either. I’m not into making a scene in public, but I’m so uncomfortable inside. I could stalk or spy and that’d make me feel like garbage. Why do I feel like I have to know so badly?

Has anyone been through this? What actually worked for you? Should I be direct right away, or is there a way to bring it up slowly so she doesn’t feel accused? I’d really appreciate blunt advice. I’ll update later. P.S. I’m 34, live in Phuket, in case anyone cares about the backstory T_T hahah