Last night after closing the coffee shop, like around 2:15 AM, I was exhausted. Got back to my room and basically collapsed onto the bed, but before falling asleep I grabbed my phone and saw something that made my eyes go wide instantly.

There was a photo in a chat — him standing with a woman at some party with neon lights, blue-ish background like a press event I felt vaguely familiar with. Just one photo, but the caption had those cute sticker things that felt... way more intimate than “just friends.” Then the messages after it were long, chatting like they were special to each other, not work talk or normal friend group stuff. It made my head spin with thoughts.

I froze.

I’m 38, I work as a barista in Samut Prakan, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Lately we’ve had timing problems — he works a lot of night shifts. I get it because I also have to stay at the shop late on Saturdays when it’s busy, sometimes getting home at 1 or 2 AM, a half-drunk iced coffee left on the counter. Sometimes friends invite me out. But seeing that photo and those messages knitted everything up for me. For the first ten minutes I couldn’t control myself at all.

I didn’t mean to look properly, I was just trying to find a drink menu, but once I saw it I couldn’t stop. So at 2 AM I decided to ask him directly. I asked calmly — not shouting but my voice trembled a bit — “Who is she?” He said she’s an old uni friend, they ran into each other at a friend’s press event, and said there’s nothing — the same sentence I’ve heard many times: “just a friend.” When I asked why he sent those stickers, he laughed and said he’s addicted to sending stickers, weird habit, like… I don’t know how to feel. Maybe I’m overthinking.

Since then I’ve been watching for everything. Notifications pop up a lot. I didn’t open all of them, just saw that name a lot, and sometimes he’d mutter her name on a call and I felt ignored. Some nights he says work’s busy, but when I checked IG (just their photos) I saw trip photos with the same person from the picture, like he went with a friend group and that same woman was in the photos. That still bothers me.

My feelings are so confused — didn’t expect to be dealing with this at my age. I don’t want to be a jealous person, but I also don’t want to ignore my own feelings. I have a close friend at the little noodle shop down the street and we talked about trust, but after seeing this I don’t know whether to give him a chance or set clear rules. I’m just... so confused.

Some people suggested I open his phone to see everything to be sure, said ask until I get an answer, but I’m scared that if I look and there’s nothing I’ll be someone who disrespects his privacy. Or if there is something, I’ll be so hurt it’ll be harder to come back from.

Typing this on my phone with sticky keys, sorry if I left anything out.

Friends, what do you think OP should do? Talk to him straight and demand a clear answer like “show me you’re sincere,” set rules to get my peace of mind, or leave it and keep observing? What would you do? T_T