What should I do, everyone? I just want to vent and really need some advice.

I'm 28 and have been working at an office in Udon Thani for almost 3 years. Just a regular position doing paperwork and coordination. Some client jobs are super fun, but the environment and people around me are the real problem.

Short version first: my boss expects me to work overtime regularly without extra pay, and there's someone on the team who takes advantage. But when others ask clearly, they get treated like they're being difficult. I'm so confused.

Details: my boss is a woman in her early 40s, pretty pressuring. When she praises it's superficial. We have weekly reports to submit. Sometimes she changes the scope in the evening — like 7:15pm — and sends a note saying “wait for further notes,” but in the morning when I ask she replies “you can just fix it yourself.” Then there are sudden demands for work, like “fix it within an hour,” even though some things need discussion with clients or other people, which I really can't control.

One teammate talks a lot but doesn't pay attention to detail. He rarely helps proof my work before sending, but when there's a problem he points fingers at me. The boss believes him easily without asking me, so I always have to send formal emails as evidence, but that doesn't seem to help. I'm naturally soft-hearted and hate conflict, but after putting up with this for so long I clearly feel taken advantage of.

About work hours: the company says we finish at 6pm, but most people go home at 8pm because the boss sends Line messages at 7pm that should've been discussed in the morning. Sometimes they ask to fix just two slides, but I don't reply immediately because I'm walking home holding a blue plastic cup with the last sip, and then I get scolded the next morning for being irresponsible. Someone even said casually, “should find people who just want to stay and do it.” I stayed quiet.

I feel like if I don't answer Line all night they'll think I'm irresponsible, but if I do answer all night I have no personal life. I'm so exhausted. I once talked to the boss about separating work time and personal time; the conversation lasted maybe 15 minutes and her reply was like, “Isn’t that hard to understand?” — that made me feel dismissed.

Another painful thing: when I suggest new ideas and the team uses them, at meetings when the project succeeds someone will say, “the team helped,” and the person who didn’t do the work stands there smiling taking the credit. I want recognition, but if I speak up I’m afraid they'll think I’m bragging or want fame, so I stay quiet.

Once I got home almost crying at 8pm because the boss blamed me for not having information, even though I had been waiting for it and clearly wrote it in an email. I sat up thinking for about three hours asking myself if I’m stupid, if I’m not working hard enough, or if I’m overthinking things T_T. I started doubting my skills even though clients and some coworkers say I’m calm and detail-oriented, but nobody at the office seems to value what I do.

I’ve thought about quitting many times but I’m afraid it’ll be hard to find a new job in this province. My family also wants me to have stable work, so I endure it. Some days I go eat lunch alone at the noodle shop by the soi and cry by myself. I have no one to vent to except my mom who listens but worries and doesn’t want me to make a wrong decision.

Am I weak? Should I be more direct, or just stay calm and ignore the people who take advantage? I still love some parts of the job, but my motivation drops every month. I swing between wanting to stay because I like the work and feeling completely burned out.

Has anyone else been through this? Share ways to get stronger or how to talk to a boss without causing problems. How should I keep records of my work? How do I explain the situation to HR so they clearly see what’s happening? Please give me polite phrases to tell my boss about setting work-time boundaries too — I’d be so grateful.

Sneaking away from my boss to post this thread. I’ll come back later. Sorry if it’s long lolol