Should I quit? I’m so confused and sad I don’t know what to do.

Long post sorry, just need to vent and ask for advice from you all. I’m 32, I work as a nurse at a small public hospital in Nonthaburi. I love the job, but the last two months have been wearing me down and I’m seriously thinking whether to put up with it or call it quits.

It started about a month ago. My head nurse
I won’t name names) came in one morning around 07:30 and told the team he had an urgent training next week and needed someone to cover his evening shifts—four evening shifts in total, each a different day. He said we could ask other nurses to help, it’s fine. I volunteered to cover some of them because I thought we’re a team and I didn’t have special plans. But he didn’t thank anyone or clearly discuss rearranging schedules—just said it casually, set his pen on the desk, and walked off.

Two weeks later he came back from training like nothing happened. But after he returned he started nitpicking the team’s work, even when some things were hospital system limits or small mistakes we were already fixing. He likes to point out only the bad examples and says he wants someone to actually take responsibility, try harder, etc. Everyone feels uncomfortable.

The breaking point was an emergency patient transfer at like 02:15 AM. Coordination was delayed by multiple departments that weren’t ours, but the boss blamed it on us and had us fill the gap by rearranging shifts so everyone had to work an extra day—without clear compensation. He said “the team must help” and claimed he wasn’t at fault for the delay because he had paperwork, but he never admitted anything directly. I had to spend about 6 extra hours that week covering shifts, and I even had to postpone a dentist appointment I’d booked two months ago—which was really hard to get.

I’m not the type to make a fuss, but it’s like he’s making us take responsibility for something that’s not the team’s fault, and we’re the ones losing our personal time. I’ve already postponed appointments—dentist, doctor, cosmetic stuff—like three times. Then when I tried to explain, I got looked at like I “didn’t do a good enough job.” Conversations turn into little arguments I always lose because he’s the boss, and he’ll finish with something like “it’s no big deal,” which makes my exhaustion feel minimized.

Some coworkers are scared of looking bad so they accepted the extra shifts, even people with young kids who need school runs or people studying. I sympathize, but how much sympathy is reasonable? I’m starting to feel taken advantage of—like the one who’s willing to sacrifice more but doesn’t get any appreciation.

I tried talking to him once after work around 18:45, quietly asking for schedule adjustments or compensation for the extra time, and he just replied “handle it yourself” and went back to his routine with no real plan. So I feel discouraged and confused about what to do next. Do I keep accepting this or stand up for my rights and risk making things worse with the boss?

Now I’m having trouble sleeping—waking up at 03:20 thinking about work and not being able to go back to sleep. My mood with family is suffering. I’m scared that if I keep tolerating this my work quality will drop and that could affect patients, which is the thing I hate the most—making mistakes with patients because I’m emotional or exhausted.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being too sensitive or overthinking. Maybe I should ask to talk to him again seriously, request a written note to change schedules, or talk to HR, but I’m afraid that will blow up into a bigger problem.

Please tell me how you see this. Nurses or hospital staff here—have you dealt with this? Did asking for schedule changes or compensation ever work? If I can’t take it anymore, should I quit? I’m 32 and nursing jobs aren’t hard to find, but I’m attached to this place and the patients. I’m really sad but I don’t want to burn out and start doing my job badly.

I want honest answers. If you’ve had a similar experience, please share what you did. I want to know what you’d do.

P.S. If I left out details ask me, I can tell more but I’m still confused T_T