Hi everyone, sorry this is my first time posting so I’m probably writing a mess but I’m really bothered and just need to vent first — I’ll update if anything changes.

I’m 31, an accountant in Udon Thani at a mid-sized company, no fancy title but lots of coworkers. Been with my boyfriend 3 years, we work at different companies but in the same town. He’s a quiet, chill guy, not very talkative but he takes care of me and helps a lot. Lately though, in the past 2–3 months, his behavior’s been changing more and more and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the one overthinking.

Before he used to send pics of his breakfast around 8:15am a lot. I’d send heart stickers back and we’d chat, but now when he sends a photo he just texts a short “ate already” and that’s it. Silent. No usual follow-up. Sometimes I ask what time he’ll be home and he replies “not sure” with a plain emoji — no hashtags, no jokes like before. It feels different, but maybe people just change, right?

Last week something happened that made me more suspicious. Around 3:40pm he said he had to meet a client at a mall in the city center. I was fine with that, but in the evening I opened Facebook and saw a story from a cafe in an area that’s not on his way home at all. The pic was of someone with a coffee cup but you could only see the hand and the cup, and the caption said “met someone from the past today.” The story disappeared for almost an hour then came back later in the evening. I was like what the heck. I asked him straight up who he met and he said “just an old friend” and then changed the subject. When I pressed he got annoyed and asked why I was being suspicious — I don’t want to be suspicious, but my eyes notice things and it’s building up.

Also there’s a guy coworker who’s not close with me who likes to comment jokey stuff under my boyfriend’s Instagram photos like “still single?” My boyfriend jokes back sometimes, other times deletes the comment and replies in DMs. I’m confused because my boyfriend isn’t the kind to post couple photos often, so when someone comments and there’s this unclear back-and-forth it makes me spiral. I messaged that coworker and he played dumb asking what I meant, which made me even more uncomfortable and wondering if I’m being ridiculous.

The other day he asked me to take the car to fill gas and said he’d pop in to buy something. I didn’t think much — his bear keychain was on my keys. But when he came to pick me up he said he’d stopped to drop a friend off at their house, and that house was not the kind of home I know his friend group lives in. Hard to explain but it felt off and I really didn’t like it. Is that valid or am I being paranoid? I’m so confused.

I tried talking calmly saying I want more clarity. He said why does it have to be clear, everyone has privacy. To me privacy and secrecy are different. I don’t want to control him but I don’t want to be brushed off either — it’s just so confusing.

Has anyone been through this? Did talking it out help or did it end because of trust issues? I’m tired, sometimes angry at myself for not being more confident or for not confronting him more directly, but I’m also scared that bringing it up will cause a fight and make him close off more.

OP is hella confused. Share experiences or advice — how should I bring it up to get a clear answer without damaging the relationship, or should I give it another 2–3 months, or just let it go? Or am I just overthinking lolol

Thanks in advance to anyone who reads. I’ll update if necessary.