Hey everyone, first time posting so sorry if I ramble or make no sense, just need to vent T_T

I'm 32, work as a delivery rider around Nonthaburi. I head out early every morning, around 5:30–6:00, and sometimes get back really late — some nights it's 1 or 2 AM. I’ve been with my boyfriend almost three years. We live pretty comfortably together, nothing fancy but we try to take care of each other. My work schedule is crazy — early mornings and late nights, some days I don’t get home until midnight — but he seems to understand, right? Except lately weird things keep happening and I’m beyond confused.

It started about two months ago, like 7–8 weeks back. He’s been coming home late more often, says he’s out drinking with friends near Phra Nang Klao Bridge, but sometimes he disappears the whole night. Calls go straight to voicemail — maybe he falls asleep on his phone, I don’t know. I’m not a super-jealous person, but this gut feeling of unease is real and I can’t explain it. He just goes quiet.

A couple nights ago something really made me stumble. He parked his bike in front of the house and forgot his keys and phone on the seat. I took the chance to charge it because his battery was like 3%. A chat notification popped up around 11:12 PM from a woman’s nickname I don’t recognize. The message was short — like “miss you” with a heart. I didn’t read everything, but seeing that felt like someone stabbed me.

I’m not usually the type to snoop through someone’s phone, but my heart was racing and my hands were shaking so I screenshot it. Later that same night I asked him calmly and he said she’s a new coworker at the office, nothing going on. But his tone sounded like he didn’t want to talk about it, avoided eye contact, and quickly changed the subject, answering with just “oh, mm” and stuff like that.

Another thing: I saw an Instagram story he posted from a cafe I’ve never been to with him, then he deleted it. I remember the photo had a small coffee cup and a silver spoon on the table, a jokey caption but the word “miss” showed up. I’m so confused. When I asked he said it was just an old photo he posted on a whim. But is that true? Or am I imagining things?

Now I’ve turned into someone who checks his phone sometimes, and I feel guilty about it, scared I’ll make things worse. I don’t want to be controlling or aggressive, but I want to know the truth — is something going on or am I just overthinking? Would he be angry if I brought it up directly?

Has anyone else noticed signs like this and it turned out to be nothing but friends? Or it was actually someone else? Should I talk to him straight up or wait for him to say something? If I ask and he denies it but I still feel uneasy, what should I do? Should I give him another week or two before talking, or plan a serious talk on a slow Tuesday evening when he’s not rushing home?

Or maybe I’m just being paranoid... I don’t know. If anyone has similar experiences please share. Would he fall apart if I asked directly? lolol