Last night was... I’m literally dizzy with confusion.
I’m 34, work at a shop around Nonthaburi. I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years, living together almost 2. Life was normal until a bunch of little things started acting up and now I don’t feel okay.

He used to call me many times a night, like from three in the afternoon until around ten. Long calls, sometimes almost an hour, sometimes two. We’d talk about work, our place, the series we watch together. Now he calls way less, answers with short stuff like “tired” or “can’t,” or just pops up with two words and hangs up. Then silence. I feel cut off, but I try not to be emotional because my job is tiring too. I close the shop around 9:30 and then see this and it’s weird.

About his phone — he’s less okay with me touching it than before, but he doesn’t lock the screen or silence it. A couple weeks ago he left his phone on the table by the front door, with a half iced coffee and his car keys next to it. I saw a chat with a weird nickname using cute stickers and a message like “miss you so much.” I didn’t want to pry but I wanted to know. I accidentally tapped it, saw a short story, then closed it. My hands shook a bit. I scared myself. I pretended I didn’t see it, but inside I was super confused and worried.

Then last night there was another thing that totally messed with me. He said he was shipping something out of town and would come home late. I made dinner and waited. Around ten he texted “arrived, we’ll talk tomorrow.” I was sleepy and fell asleep, then woke at 2am to see he was on IG but didn’t reply to me — I just sent a worried sticker and “get home safe.” Why didn’t he answer? If he didn’t want to talk, say so. Don’t be online and not reply. It felt so weird.

Early morning I saw someone comment on the picture he posted saying “I ate well today, thank you.” And I’m like who the heck is that? Am I overthinking?

Things in the house have been moved around a lot. Small stuff disappears or gets relocated. He says “I put it away” but sometimes his reasons don’t match how I remember it. I’m a super tidy person, but now it feels like something’s being hidden. Maybe I’m just cranky, but I keep getting left with doubts.

Before this I saw he met a female friend from his old job and said they were talking work at a café near Kathi market. When he came back there was a weird perfume smell. I asked casually where he went, if anyone was with him, and he said “an old friend, we talked about work.” His voice didn’t sound right, so I started paying more attention. No, I didn’t stalk him, but I noticed a lot of signals and now sometimes I freak out at myself for trusting so little.

Two days ago he’d planned to take me to our favorite night market but then said he had urgent work with a colleague and asked me to buy something for him. I bought it and he told me not to come pick him up — fine. But that night he was online like he wasn’t tired and he posted a story from an angle I’d seen in that café before (I recognized the same flowers in the corner). Not a couple photo, just that corner. Silent again. It hurt and made me suspicious.

I’m not usually jealous, but now I read every sign and keep asking myself if I’m overthinking or lacking confidence, or if he really has changed, or if there’s someone new, or maybe just a friend who’s closer. I’m so confused. I’m scared if I ask straight up he’ll get mad and call me paranoid, or if I point things out I’ll seem naggy and annoying. His job is service so he has to talk to customers a lot outside of hours; I’m trying to understand but my gut says it’s not normal.

Friends, has anyone dealt with this? Should I talk to him directly that I’m uncomfortable, or wait and look for more signs, or am I invading his privacy too much, or should I work on my own confidence first so I don’t become controlling?

I really want honest, serious advice. I don’t want more drama, just to know how others handled this. How do you bring it up calmly and get the truth T_T

Sorry if this is messy. I’m really bewildered. What do you all think I should do? P.S. If I do talk to him, I want to do it without yelling or blaming but I still want the truth.