Sorry, this is my first thread for real, I'm not good at writing so it might be a bit messy

I'm 42, work as a barista around Bang Khae. Morning shift 06:00–14:00; some days I get home almost midnight, like 23:30. I combine part‑time and full‑time jobs so I can cover myself in BKK. We've been married almost a year (about 11 months) but his money habits are really weighing me down, seriously confusing.

Short version: he likes collecting small things — like a little green metal keychain, tiny car models, small paper boxes — he puts more stuff on the shelf and it makes me feel claustrophobic because I still have a small wedding debt I'm paying off for maybe eight more months, several installments left.

When I try to talk about the budget he dodges it, says we’ll deal with it later, and he doesn’t pay back money he borrowed on time. This has happened many times and then he goes quiet.

Tired. Confused. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one managing the household accounts, or maybe I’m being petty, I don’t know. Hard to explain but every time I see a receipt or another little collectible box in the room it just makes me uncomfortable. There were months I managed to save well but he’d go buy stuff at like 00:30 at night — happens a lot and I just don’t catch him in time.

We had one serious talk but it ended with him saying “don’t interfere” so I was bummed and started wondering if we’re even on the same page about life together. When we planned the wedding we talked nicely but living together brings these little things that chip away the warmth — is this marriage...? Or am I overthinking.

Anyone know how to talk about money without fighting? Should we set house rules? Split accounts or have a personal allowance per month and how much? Can he keep collections if he tells me first? Stuff like that — I don't want fights lolol

Should I be more patient or should I tighten up the finances? Please give honest advice T_T

P.S. Sorry again if this is a bit messy