Last night around 7:15 he said, “I’ll go withdraw some money,” then got up from the table and walked out quietly. Left his phone on the table. A ten-baht coin and a cat-pattern bookmark fell out of his pocket. That was it. I just sat there with my cold plate of food, stunned. I didn’t ask anything right away because I was shocked.

It’s the same scene I’ve seen a few times, but each time it makes me more insecure. Short version: I’m 25, I work at a stationery shop in a mall over in Nonthaburi. OP is from the other side of the province. We’ve been married almost a year, but sometimes it still feels like we’re dating because his communication isn’t straightforward. He keeps his personal finances to himself, says they’re small things, but when I ask about the accounts he says, “I’ll sort it out myself,” and then goes quiet. Like, really quiet.

About three weeks ago I accidentally saw a transfer slip pop up in his chat. He’d left his phone on the table and the screen lit up. I didn’t sneak a look or anything — it just showed up on the screen. Blue light and the message popped up, so of course I was curious hahaha. When I asked him about it, he finally admitted he had some small scattered debts with friends and with the local rotating savings group. Not a big debt, but what stresses me out more is that he’s secretive about how he’s handling it, not the debt itself.

Some days he says he’s doing extra evening work, but then I see him posting stories of going to the movies with friends or eating out. I’m not trying to control him, really, but I just want to know how the shared money works. If there’s an emergency one day, how are we supposed to handle it? I can’t just let this slide. When I try to talk calmly, he says I’m “nagging,” and then I feel guilty for no reason. Maybe I’m being narrow-minded or overthinking. Actually, I want some transparency — like a rough idea of how much debt, and how long to pay it off, two months or three months or so. Not asking for a joint account of his whole life, I just fear that if a big expense comes up we won’t be able to plan together.

I don’t want him to feel accused, but I’m so uncomfortable because his hiding money stresses me out to the max. What should I do? Give him time to open up on his own, or set a gentle boundary and talk it out now? Should I be direct and say I don’t want a combined account but can he at least give me a rough breakdown? Is that okay?

Posting from a friend’s login, typing on my phone — sorry if I missed anything. What do you all think I should do? P.S. He always says he doesn’t want me to worry, but his not telling me makes me worry anyway T_T