First time posting ever so sorry if I type weird T_T
I'm 28, a barista working in Rayong. Been with my boyfriend for 4 years, living together almost two. Around 10:30–11pm I always think about this — half laughing half annoyed 5555

Short version: he's sweet, friendly, playful, surprises me with homemade treats, sometimes bakes cookies at 3am (for real). But there's this habit that drives me crazy: he buys little things I never asked for, like tiny 10cm figures from the toy shop outside the cinema, collects weird printed tote bags and stacks them in a wooden crate, and sometimes tops up online games and never tells me how much he spent. I've found this happening like ten times in a month before.

I get that people find joy in little things, but the problem is it affects the wedding fund we're saving for a photographer and a small garden setup I actually want. I'm a planner, I like detailed income-expense lists, I spend hours every month on it (about 1–2 hours after my shift). He doesn't care about budgets — if he likes something he buys it right away, pays on his phone, and the receipt situation is minimal.

Another issue is his messy keeping. At first I thought it was a little cluttered, but then figure boxes got mixed with noodle shop receipts, and there were envelopes of money he stashed that I didn't know the details of. I opened a drawer and found envelopes that didn't match what we'd talked about. I was like, whoa, that's not what we discussed. Got quiet. Stayed silent.

I've tried talking many times, but it usually ends with him saying, “I bought it and I'm happy” and then changing the subject to go try a new bubble tea shop he just saw — annoying, but I don't want every conversation to turn sour or to argue all the time.

I suggested a joint account for the wedding money and asked him to log expenses in an app, but he joked, “I'll remember,” and then forgets. I don't want to take control of all the money because we should both be involved, but I also don't want to stress every month over another little figure package.

Anyone dealt with this? How do I talk so he understands without ruining the mood, or should we set a simple rule like a serious joint account? What should I do?

P.S. If anyone has a little prank or trick to make a boyfriend realize the importance of the wedding budget, share please — might try it 555