Was washing dishes around almost midnight, like 11:10 pm, and my brain just froze. Felt totally shocked. Quiet all around.

We’ve only been married a month, but last night while sitting there I opened our joint account app that we use together and saw a bunch of outgoing transfers — like orders from the food stall around the corner and delivery fees for fresh produce several times in one day. Reading it made my head spin, eyes blur... Wait, like this? And my own account went down because I’d transferred money into the joint account like we agreed before getting married, but seeing the transactions made me feel like maybe I didn’t understand the agreement or we didn’t make it clear enough. It’s more the feeling than the amount, you know.

I’m an accountant, 31, living in Chiang Mai, so I know my numbers, but this really stuck in my chest. Sat there for about 15 minutes staring at the same entries over and over, holding a stainless spoon and a floral coffee cup, until I had to put the spoon down. I wanted to ask straight up why she’s using it so often but I’m also scared it’ll make her feel like I’m policing her. Can’t believe in just a month of marriage small stuff like this can pile up and make me feel so uneasy.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just narrow-minded or overthinking. Some days she’s super sweet, cooks, helps with chores, but some habits are things I’ve never seen before — small on their own but together they bother me. One moment it’s silent, the next I’m heated, what even.

Honestly should I bring this up right now? Open the account together and set clear new rules, or wait till I cool down and talk later — like leave it 2–3 days? Confused, right.

Any advice from friends? T_T Just needed to vent before bed reallyyyyy 5555